The Locket Blog
by SlightlyOffKey
Summary: Penny is home for the summer with Leonard off to the North Sea. How to fill the time that she would normally spend with him. A quick look at college courses show a social media class. Just the thing. This is her blog
1. Chapter 1

**The Locket Blog**

Where should I start? I'm an aspiring actress who has been taking college courses. I suddenly find that I have a lot more free time this summer. So I've decided to take a class about social networks. This is my first blog post on my first blog.

Though I've been written about on other people's blog this the first time I've written my own. I want to dedicate this blog the man I love, Leonard. I guess I should start with him and a little something about myself.

Leonard and I have been in a relationship for over five years. We've had good times and some really bad times together. It's taken a long time for the good times to outweigh the bad but it's finally happened. I live a really nice life with amazing friends I suppose I will get too eventually. My friends are all geniuses. I struggle to keep up with them most of the time, but then again in a social situation they are all naïve. They may know what a boson is but I know how to deal with things socially and a boson has never gotten a free drink. Over the last few years I've found myself absorbing more and more of my friend's interests. There are times that I'm bored and cannot get over how uncool they are. Then there are lots of times I'm suddenly fascinated and frankly awed by what they show me. I realize at heart I've become just as nerdy in some ways as they are. They consider themselves nerds and are proud of it so I guess I should be too.

My boyfriend Leonard is an Experimental Physicist at a major university. He has his PhD and at this time is doing experiments in the North Sea. It's a huge honor for him as he gets to work with Stephen Hawking. But he's going to be gone for months and that's why I decided to take this class. This is only the first week and I miss him horribly. I find myself touching the heart shaped locket around my neck that has his picture in it. I wish I had thought of that. He should have one with my picture in it as well. I would do it know I'm just not sure how to send it to a ship in the North Sea.

Leonard is not the usual kind of guy I've dated. He's not a muscular hunk with model looks and nothing in his head. I've kind of realized that I always dated guys with that dark side, or some kind of edge or problem I thought I could fix. That never worked out well. I'd become attached but they were who they were and in the end I always got hurt. Leonard is different. The first thing he's the same height as I am. He's kind and gentle with a soft voice most of the time. When Leonard and I first went out and even now he will talk over my head. He usually realizes this and slows down to explain what he's saying. I should point out that Leonard is very funny and cute. He's cute not just physically, which he is, but in his mannerisms and personality. Let me give you an example.

Last Friday Leonard had been on the ship for one week. We planned to Skype on the laptop at 5:00 PM that evening. It was very late in the North Sea. I thought perhaps something sexy might be appropriate and had a black teddy on under my sweatshirt for the right moment. The Skype session started and there was my boyfriend surrounded by 4 men's faces looking over his shoulder. Leonard had on a huge smile.

"Hi sweetie" I said.

Leonard seemed to forget all the men were around him. His smile softened and I could see his eyes were glistening. I thought he was on the verge of tears.

"Hey you, I miss you" he said

I brought him back into the moment by asking, "And who are all of your friends there sweetie?"

Leonard looked around at them scowling, "Okay so now you've all seen her, this really is my girlfriend. Now give me some privacy."

The faces disappeared and I heard a door close in the back ground. Leonard looked around then smiled back at the screen.

"Sorry about that. I showed them your picture on my phone and they didn't believe me."

I slowly unzipped my sweatshirt and let it slide down my shoulders.

"I guess it was a good idea I didn't answer dressed like this."

Leonard's eyes grew big as he stuttered out, "Just a second"

He disappeared from the screen. I heard the door being locked. Then Leonard was back pulling at his jacket to take it off. I'm sure you get the idea of where things went from there but I hate those kinds of blogs so use your imagination.

That's the kind of chemistry we have, even 3000 miles apart and there it is. So what will I write in the future? I really don't know, next I have to start using twitter but maybe I'll blog about Sheldon my boyfriend's super genius roommate. Think of a mix of Wiley Coyote and Dexter's laboratory.

Penny signing off for now.


	2. View From the Bow

**View from the Bow**

It's a Saturday evening. I had the lunch shift and then half the dinner shift at work today. Did I mention that I'm also a waitress/bartender on the side? Maybe I really shouldn't it's just what I do to pay the bills. I'm not really very good at it either. I just don't care enough and it seems my tips are based on how I look so I don't have a lot of incentive to provide great service. Well that and I really don't care. Normally I would only work the lunch shift so I could spend time with Leonard and the gang tonight. This Saturday is not one of those Saturdays. You see Sheldon is sick right now with a summer cold. Sheldon is a pain in the ass when he's sick. So the rest of the gang except his girlfriend Amy, who is contractually required to take care of Sheldon when he's sick, has suddenly become unavailable. If Leonard was here we would be out doing something just to avoid Sheldon. But with Leonard on a ship in the North Sea I'm now hiding in my darkened apartment lest light show under the door. Amy may become fed up at any time and then Sheldon would be knocking. I'm even trying to type quietly so he doesn't hear me.

I was Skyping with Leonard this morning when he did something fantastic. Leonard took his laptop on deck to the bow of the ship and pointed it out to sea. The sea was full of white caps and spray was came off the bow. Not exactly the Titanic moment on the bow but as close as he could make it.

I asked if he'd gotten seasick.

"Only the first four days, I've been okay after that."

The look on his face was slightly nauseated as he said it. I can tell he is still being affected but he's being tough. Well as tough as scientist who's never been on the ocean and can't kill his own spiders can be. Leonard is tough though emotionally. I've put him through a lot since we started dating. We broke up for almost a year. I tried to date again but I couldn't find anybody that worked for me. I realized now that I was comparing every guy to Leonard and how he treated me. The turning point in our latest relationship was when I went to visit Leonard in his lab. It was my first time ever seeing what he does. It was in that moment that I knew I loved him. I loved how smart and caring he was. I also realized I was incredibly turned on by having a genius as boyfriend.

After we broke up I waited for Leonard to ask me out again but he'd moved on to a new relationship. That really hurt and I almost lost him forever. At least we had become friends again. We took things very slow the next time around. In fact we almost didn't make it but more on that later. There's a knock on my door, it's just a single knock so NOT Sheldon.

Its Amy apparently she can't sing the Soft Kitty song to Sheldon's standard to help him go to sleep. Amy looks like she's been through hell. Her hair is bedraggled, there's a cocoa stain on her sweater. Amy's has dark circles under her eyes and a blank stare as if she had just been in a plane crash or some other disaster. She's sitting on my couch waiting for me to finish so I'll have to keep this short. I'll have to guard for her making a dash toward the stairway on the way to Sheldon's and Leonard's place. Oh I got an email from Leonard. Oh, that's sweet. I'll post this part here then take Amy back and do my singing duties.

Bye for now.

"_It's late here sweetheart but I can't stop thinking about you. When I was at the North Pole I thought of you every day even though we weren't together yet. This time I think about you non-stop when I'm not working. Even then you slip into my thoughts. I miss looking in your eyes. The knowing smiles you give me when I say something lame. What I would give to feel the soft touch of your hand on my cheek as you kiss me."_

Oops, the rest is kind of personal, bye again.


	3. Wonderful Wednesdays

**Wonderful Wednesdays**

Yea, I was off work today. I had a wonderful day sleeping in then meeting Amy and Bernadette for lunch. Sheldon is feeling better and has finally released Amy from her care taker duties. Bernadette was becoming concerned as Amy was asking if she had in experimental drugs that might help Sheldon get better. Bernadette suggested several anti-psychotic drugs her company was working on. Though she was only joking Amy had seriously considered it. I've only been able to talk to Leonard on the phone this week. They have been having stormy weather and were asked to cut back on their internet usage. Leonard sounded fine but I could tell he was having a rough time of it. I really should find out where the North Sea is. I was doing pretty well until this afternoon when I got ready to write this blog entry. I found I was just sitting there thinking about Leonard, seasick and cooped up in his cabin and lab. It reminded me of when he went to the North Pole.

I thought about him every day when he was gone then. We weren't together but I couldn't wait to let him know we were when he got back. I'm the same way this time but we are together. I want him to come back so I can ask him a question. I know he wants me to. In fact he left it up to me after Valentine's Day. Leonard told me he would never ask me to marry him again. I had to ask him. I'm scared of the question, the answer and the results. I love Leonard so much and I've finally got to the point where I want to ask him. Not to marry me yet but to be engaged and to live together. I want to tell people that this is my fiancé not my boyfriend anymore. If we could just keep the marriage thing open ended that would be so great. I wonder if he'll go for that. But he has to really understand it and not just go along. I think we are there now.

There was a time where Leonard did things just to make me happy even if he didn't like it. He and I have grown past that now. It's more about what makes us happy. That is a pretty cool place to be if you ask me. So here's my plan for the rest of the evening. I snagged the comforter off Leonard's bed today while checking on Sheldon. I'm going to open a nice bottle of red wine. Then wrap myself in his comforter and watch Star Wars movies tonight until I fall asleep. My tribute to the man I love. Okay I might catch The Bachelorette as well before Star  
Wars.

Night


	4. A Long Day

**A Long Day**

It's not very often I'm excited about going to work at the Cheesecake Factory. But when you've spent the day being the personal servant and driver to Sheldon Cooper work seems like a dream. Let me start by saying this was not my plan for the day. Amy called the night before to ask if I could give Sheldon a ride today as a sudden conference had come up she needed to attend. Amy said she was trying to get someone else to go and would get back to me. She called back several times saying she was working on it before finally saying she couldn't get out of it. I am suspicious that Amy just needed a day off.

I started the day with the thought that I would be getting up early to take Sheldon to work then back home and to bed. Sheldon began knocking on my door at 7:15 in the morning. I groggily answered in my robe. Sheldon smiled and handed me a list of the places he needed to go that day. He was taking the day off to accomplish his many varied tasks. Sheldon told me there was no hurry and that we would be leaving at 7:45. After grabbing the list and slamming the door I proceeded to the shower and to get ready. Much to Sheldon's dismay we did not leave the building until 8:15 even though he had come to my door 4 more times while I struggled to get ready. I should say that I sat on the couch drinking my coffee the last 2 attempts he made at getting me to answer the door.

I then proceeded to take Sheldon to the barber for a trim. Then to his dentist for a cleaning before a quick stop at the podiatrist. We ended up at the train store where I listened to Sheldon argue with another train nerd on the model train scale debate for over an hour. He tried to get me to stop by the comic book store but I cleverly side tracked him with a trip for an ice cream cone. Though he was disappointed that we were out of time I headed home. Sheldon almost forgot to thank me when we reached the apartment door but at the last moment told me how nice it was that I had stepped up for team Cooper. I again slammed the door and made my way to the bedroom to get ready for my shift.

I sent Leonard a quick email before my shift describing my day then was off to work. It was the same old thing at work. I spent the dinner hour waiting tables and then got behind the bar until we closed. It was a pretty normal shift except for the college intermural rugby team that was in the bar until closing. They lavished attention on me but like most college kids did not leave squat for tips. I really should have spilt a tray of beers on them. It would have cooled them off and made me feel better. I returned home with an email from Leonard waiting for me. Here's part of it:

"_Welcome to the third Tuesday of the month. It's a good thing someone took him you know how he can be if his schedule it thrown off. That was a really smart move with the ice cream. Why didn't I think of that? Keep this up and you'll be called Saint Penny, or if you get like me inmate 347891 for Sheldonslaughter is looking better and better. Amy owes you big. "_

Leonard made me laugh from 3000 miles away. He's so sweet. Sometimes I wonder how he puts up with Sheldon. Then again I know he's put up with a lot from me over the years. Maybe it should be Saint Leonard. He told me there is a problem with the ship they are on and it will be putting in for repairs soon. Leonard asked me if I would like to fly to Iceland for his shore leave. I wonder how you pronounce Reykjavík.

I think I should be dusting off my unused passport that I once got for Geneva.

Iceland with no Sheldon for four days here I come.


	5. The Journey Begins

**The Journey Begins**

I'm getting ready for my trip to Iceland of all places. I always thought my first trip abroad, I always wanted to say that, would be someplace hot. You know somewhere like Mexico, the Bahamas or maybe Hawaii. But the internet says it should be in the mid 70's during the day so that will be fine. I'll bring my coat and get to wear my winter boots. Leonard likes me in boots and I love to wear them. Speaking of Leonard he's made all the flight arrangements and should be at the airport when I get in. There is the rub though it's a very long flight. I leave from LAX in the late morning and fly to Denver. Then at 5:30 I get on the plane to Reykjavik arriving at 6:30 the next morning. I've never flown overnight on a plane before. I'm nervous, what if I snore? I'll keep working on the blog as I go.

My class has started a new social network this week, Twitter. I've read other peoples Twitter feeds before and I'm a little worried about what to write. I did tie my Twitter feed into my blog so as I tweet things it should show up. Howard helped me get it all set up yesterday. Though Sheldon has been well Sheldonish why Leonard's been gone Bernadette and Howard have been great. I've been to their apartment for dinner and just to hang out. Sometimes Raj is there but mostly he has been woman hunting with his new found speaking ability. I don't think he is doing very well at it yet. With his only experience being Howard's wingman all these years he has a lot of bad habits to lose.

So look for my first Tweet. I'll try to blog some more from Denver while I wait for my flight.

**Penny ** gohuskers29  
Leaving for the Airport with Bernadette

**Penny ** gohuskers29  
On the plane, I have a window seat, they took my body lotion at TSA, damn

**Penny ** gohuskers29  
Have a hunk sitting next to me, mid-thirties, dark hair brown eyes in a suit

I've made it to Denver. I had to go back through security but found my gate at last. Still have 3 hours until my plane boards. So let me tell you about the creep in the seat next to me from LA. When he first sat down I noticed he was attractive. I also noticed he had on a wedding ring. Then after a few minutes I noticed the ring is gone. There is the faint line on his finger not quite as tan as it should be. He works for some tech company in sales and I got to hear all about it. He was pretty crestfallen when I told him that I was on my way to see my scientist boyfriend in Iceland. I had to make it very clear I would not like to spend a few days in Denver. Oh and that I don't date married men. Like I said creep. It just reminded me again why I'm with Leonard. No lies or BS he's just a real person with all his flaws and little mannerisms. I'm so done with suave guys and their line of garbage. Viva la Nerds.

Now that said I can't wait to see Leonard. My hand goes up to the locket around my neck every time I think about him. I ignored mister creep most of the flight after that and looked at Skymall then the airline magazine. Luckily it was a quick flight. I need to pick up a magazine here before my next flight.

Blog at you soon.

**Penny** gohuskers29  
I'm in the Airport at Keflavik outside of Reykjavik heading for the baggage area.

**Penny ** gohuskers29  
I see Leonard on the other side of the ropes, he has a sign like a driver he's holding up. It says Penny I Love You.

**Penny ** gohuskers29  
There's my bag, gotta go.


	6. Live from Reykjavik

**Live from Reykjavik**

It's late here in Iceland but I'm still on LA time so I'm sitting at the desk in our hotel room looking out at the city and mountains. A slight fog is rolling in from the mountains and though it's just after 10:00PM the sun is just now setting. It's really beautiful with orange and pink light and clouds in the distance. Leonard is fast asleep in the bed. I think I've worn him out today. We came back from the airport and haven't left the room. I love room service. My plan is pretty simple for tonight. I'm going to write my blog and post it then get back in bed with Leonard. I really missed cuddling into his shoulder on the nights we spend together. I have to squeeze three more months of that into these three days. Tomorrow Leonard said we are going to explore the city. I'm excited to see some place new.

The name of the place we are staying is the Hotel Borg. When Leonard first told me the name I thought we were staying in a Star Trek themed hotel. Leonard let me know it's actually a mostly a female name here in Iceland. He also said the rest of the science team on the ship is staying here as well. Leonard said that all of the scientists got single rooms. It's kind of a treat after having 3 to a cabin on the ship.

I told Leonard all about this blog but ask him not to read it until he gets home. If I know Leonard he'll read it anyway so I may need to watch what I write from now on. Howard, Bernadette and Amy have all been reading because they are leaving comments. So hi to you guys from Iceland tonight, oh and Chuck from Nebraska I'm still not available. Did you read my blog or just look at my profile picture?

I still have Leonard's sign from the airport. I've added, "I love you too", and then I'll put it in his bag before I leave. So it makes me wonder why it was so hard to say that for so long. I guess it had to do with the fact that it would take things to the next level. There are those commitment issues I have again. I think I showed him I loved him but to say it would somehow complicate things. I was wrong. It made things so much better. It's not some unspoken gorilla in the room now. My fear that it would become flippant and tossed around never happened. Leonard will sometimes say it in passing to me but he always means it. When I say it to him I always mean it. That's a real first for me. When he first said it to me years ago I panicked. I wasn't sure he really knew what it meant or if I did. Now I know he does and so I guess I do too. What I am sure of is I love Leonard, heart and soul, good and bad every second of my day.

It's 11:30 here now though it's still pretty light outside. In Pasadena it just got to 4:30. I'm going to have one more glass of wine then it's back to bed with my sweetie.

Good night world


	7. Puffins are Cool!

**Puffins are cool!**

I'm down at the hotel Borg bar right now waiting for Leonard who had a meeting with the rest of the science team. Their ship is almost ready and will sail the day after I leave. We've had a great two days so far. We went shopping and sightseeing the first day. Their idea of summer here has convinced me that I've truly become a Californian girl. My god for a summer day its cold here though Leonard says you get used to it. Leonard suffered though several shoe stores with me and a few boutiques. We hit the many pubs and bars in town that night. This morning we went on a whale watching Puffin Island tour. The bus picked us up at the hotel and we went onto a boat to look at whales. The sea was rough and I almost got seasick. Leonard just laughed saying it was actually pretty mild and didn't seemed bothered at all. We saw quite a few whales today. They are beautiful to watch as they swim along and some are huge. Next was Puffin Island. Puffins are very cool birds, colorful and fun to watch. There were hundreds of them. The whole thing took about three hours. I enjoyed it but I'm glad to be back on dry land.

I watched the people go into the meeting room with Leonard. I had no idea there were so many female scientists on this trip. I'm sure I have nothing to worry about. It's been great being here with my sweetie. Leaving tomorrow afternoon is going to be pretty hard. Tonight's plan is a quiet dinner at a restaurant I can't pronounce, Vio Tjornina, apparently it's very good. I'm sure there will be twenty different kinds of seafood on the menu. They seem to serve fish at almost every meal. I'm actually looking forward to a burger at this point.

I have a surprise for Leonard tonight that I bought at a boutique yesterday when he didn't notice. The place had a section like Fredrick's of Hollywood. I'm sure he'll be quite surprised. Now for a note to my peeps:

Hi Bernadette and Howard. Howard starting the dishwasher is not doing a chore. Filling it or empting it is. Please try to do one or the other. Also Bernadette should not need to raise your allowance for when you "help out."

Raj, thanks for reading my blog. Now as to online dating I say why not. Just be honest about yourself. No photo shopped pictures or exaggerating things. That said you don't need to tell them everything. Leave something for the first meeting, i.e. no need to mention comic books, Star Trek, Star Wars or gaming. Those might be something left until you're sure you like the person or you're married.

Amy, I'm sorry to hear that Sheldon is feeling poorly again. I think he just misses Leonard and having someone there every day. It might be the time to make your move. Start by just moving in a few of your things. A few clothes and things like that. By the time Leonard gets back you'll be living together.

Chuck from Nebraska. It's nice to know we went to high school together. You were two years behind me. I've still got a boyfriend so still not interested. Yes I understand you were a jock back then but being a used car dealer now does not up your standing.

Oh the meeting got out and Leonard is coming my way.

Bye until next time.


	8. Going Home, but is it?

**Penny ** gohuskers29  
Leonard stood with me at the airport until it was time to go through security. We are both so sad.

**Penny ** gohuskers29  
Waiting to board, flight leaves at 4:45pm through Minneapolis I should be back in LA around 11:00 tonight.

**Going Home, but is it?**

The seat is comfortable on this flight. The lady next to me doesn't speak English but reminds me of my grandmother. It was really hard saying goodbye to Leonard today. Though we had a great few days together we both just couldn't get over the fact that we'd be apart again. Leonard held it together until the airport. I just stood there and hugged him until he told me I had to go. Then the tears came. He tried really hard not to cry but then I did and we both just dissolved. At least Leonard has the boat and science to look forward to. I'm just going back to my apartment and job. Of course my friends will be there. Sheldon will need attention and rides. Amy and Bernadette will try to cheer me up if I let them. Raj and Howard will be well Raj and Howardish. It still comes down to being without Leonard.

I thought it was hard when we were broken up. But at least he was still around. I could find excuses to go over and see him. I could steal his mail or make sure we met in the laundry room. Our little group has started to break up since he's been gone. Not as many game nights or eating around the coffee table. Things are changing. Howard and Bernadette have their own lives. Raj can talk to women so he's spending time dating. I find it harder to be around Sheldon without Leonard there to act as a buffer and referee. I do have my acting group and college course that I'm taking. I guess I have this blog as well. I'm going to nap for a while and will continue this in Minneapolis.

I'm waiting to board here in the Minneapolis airport for the flight to LA. I'm really tired, this jet lag thing sucks. I'm not sure how people do this all the time. Okay so I still really miss Leonard. I don't regret going to Iceland to see him but its changed things somehow. I'm feeling really incomplete but hoping it will pass. I should be happy. We had a great time and got to spend time together all by ourselves. Leonard and I never had a fight the entire time. If you knew us you'd know that's kind of rare. Though over the last year I have to admit we have had less and less problems.

Speaking of which, Leonard is waiting patiently for me to ask him to marry me. He said the ball is in my court. I've been waiting for it to feel right, for it not to feel so overwhelming. There was a point when we were walking around Reykjavik. We were holding hands not saying a word just looking around. I have to say it felt right then. Maybe I should have. Oh enough of feeling sorry for myself. They just called my plane for boarding, got to go.

I'm in the aisle seat with a young married couple in the middle and window seats. Coleen and Jerry are their names. They've been married for 2 years and are on their way home from Europe. He's an investment guy and she teaches 3rd grade. They are both so nice and seem so happy. I wonder what someone will say about Leonard and me some day. Will they think we are a nice couple, will they say we look happy? I checked out my comments during the layover so I should respond.

Amy sweetie, I'm glad Sheldon is feeling better. Of course he spotted your clothes in the closet. I'm sure he put them in the order of their shade and style because he's that way. If he wanted you to take them out he'd have said something. Sounds like things are working out. Just don't hang your pantyhose in the bathroom, believe me it causes problems.

Raj, Angela sounds lovely but from her picture it appears she has an Adam's apple. You might want to go slow with this one and really talk things out.

Bernadette please don't kill Howard I don't want to visit you in prison. He just needs some more training. I'm not sure if withholding sex is such a great idea. Howard must have been pretty accomplished at self-pleasure all those years before he met you. That might backfire on you. You could confiscate his comic books and dole them out when he helps out.

Chuck, I've tried to be as gentle about this as could but I see I need to be more direct. I would not go out with you if you were the last car salesman on the planet and I needed a ride. Clear enough. Please don't post anymore pictures of your "Hot Rod" in your comments, gross.

It's time to turn off the electronics and land so I'll talk to you all soon.

**Penny ** gohuskers29  
Just landed at LAX, Bernadette is picking me up

**Penny ** gohuskers29  
It's after midnight, home at last, or is it? I'm not sure without Leonard here. Goodnight.


	9. Kindred Spirits

**Kindred Spirits**

How can I explain to you what Sheldon Cooper is like? First of all he has a photographic memory. He calls it something else but he can remember every detail of things and recall them to you. That might explain why he's always got great grades and excelled in school. Sheldon is also very obsessive as in OCD obsessive. If his life and the order of how he expects things is disturbed it disturbs him as well. Leonard being gone this summer has certainly disturbed him. The first thing is he's sick a lot.

Sheldon has always been a hypochondriac, (thank god for spell check), so I'm used to him coming over with problems to my door. They are as easy a paper cut, which I must thoroughly clean, disinfect and bandage. To the bizarre, I had to check his ears for spider eggs. This year he really has been physically sick this summer. Two colds only weeks apart kept him in bed and drove Amy to almost kill him. After that he took to wearing a surgical mask for the next two weeks. I made him unhappy by drawing a Joker's huge grin on the front that he didn't know about until he got to work. At least I got a good laugh out of it as well as Howard and Raj who pointed it out to him. The day after I got back from Iceland I stopped by to see him. I was missing Leonard terribly even though he had sent me an email that they were sailing that day. He had gone on telling me how much he missed me, I cried. Anyway back to me stopping by to see Sheldon, I found Sheldon sitting on the couch.

I entered the apartment and waved as I passed him to check the fridge for any leftovers. I just got back from being abroad after all and had no food in the house. Okay I rarely have any food in the house. The grocery store is my refrigerator. Sheldon was sitting on the couch staring at the TV which was off. I'd found a lovely leftover salad in the fridge. I started heading back to my place when he stopped me and pointed to Leonard's chair. I curled up in Leonard's spot and started eating being suddenly aware that Leonard wasn't there. I guess it must have showed because Sheldon Cooper who is normally oblivious to what other people are feeling, just looked at me and sighed, "I know Penny I miss Leonard as well."

I'm pretty sure at that point my mouth was hanging open. I closed it and began to chew my salad. Sheldon looked back at the TV and then at me. He said, "Normally Leonard and I would be arguing at the moment whether to watch Red Dwarf or reruns of Dr. Who. What would you like to watch?" Again I had to stop eating for moment as I was taken aback. I finally said that I'd prefer Dr. Who. Sheldon nodded and turned on Red Dwarf then shook his head, "Just what Leonard would say, sorry going for comedy today. But thanks for filling in."

I smiled as I watched him settle back and turn his attention to the show, a slight grin spreading on his face. I sat back and munched on the salad and watched with him. The whole point of this I guess is that sometimes I do get how Sheldon thinks. It doesn't happen very often but it does.

Leonard just sent me a new email from the Atlantic. We are Skyping this afternoon if everything works out. He has some requests for the evening including my black framed glasses and the black teddy I bought in Iceland. I guess that made an impression.

I won't see any of my friends until tonight. I invited them all to Sheldon's to cheer him up. The truth is they're there to cheer me up as well. So now to answering comments:

Raj, I'm glad you figured out the new girl you met was once called Norman. It's always good to clarify that and what stage of her transformation she is in. This lets you avoid embarrassing situations for the both of you. I was happy to hear you did have a nice dinner and movie though. I hope your skin care tips help Norma.

Amy, I'm sorry to hear about your mishap with the Monkeys in the weed experiment. Like teenagers its best to just throw the food in when they have the munchies. I'm glad to hear none of the bites are infected though.

Chuck, I'm glad you've cooled your jets on the photo thing. Yes Valerie Mossbacher still lives in Nebraska. She lives in Omaha, has three children and last I heard weighs 250 pounds. Good luck with that.

Now for Raymond, my new friend from Britain, no I'm not available even if you are rich and have a lovely cockney accent. Leonard I know this is you. The fuzzy picture of Hugh Grant isn't fooling anybody.

Bye until next time.


	10. What Means the Most to me?

**What means the most to me?**

As you might guess from the title of this blog entry I'm a little down today. I worked the dinner shift last night, got stuck in traffic then was home late with Sheldon waiting at my door. Apparently after Amy had dropped him off today he found something huge and crawling in the living room. I went for a look and found a huge Japanese beetle sitting rather comfortably in Sheldon's spot on the couch. At first I was going to just squish it with my shoe. My memory suddenly filled with the last time something happened to that particular cushion so I stopped. I went to my place then emptied a pickle jar into a bowl then went back and caught it in that. A few holes in the top and I now have a pet beetle that is really beautifully colored and really large. Sheldon though paranoid is at home now but the downside of all this is I missed my Skype session with Leonard. So now I have to get up early if I want to see him.

That leads me to the current moment in time. I'm writing in my blog, eating pickles and listening to Colbie Caillet, thus the title of my blog entry from Colbie's song of the same name. Should I really think about what means the most to me? I would start with all my dear friends, without them I'm not sure how I would get through this. Even Sheldon is comforting in some odd way maybe because it's nice to be needed even if it's for weird and silly stuff. I guess it's the same with all my friends. They all need me in some way. The same with Leonard, none of our friends knew how central Leonard was to things until he was gone. It turns out Leonard was very important to our lives in different ways. In Sheldon's case it's rather obvious. Leonard provides companionship, a foil to his wit, not to mention transportation and certain grounding that Sheldon needs. Leonard is the provider of meals, the person who makes dinner "happen" for the gang. He gets them all together for a purpose. I miss him terribly. I just realized today that I have not made dinner at home since he's been gone. Oh I've made a can of soup or salad. But it's just not fun to cook for one. I really miss him sitting across from me pretending the food is good even when I screwed it up. So what means the most to me? Leonard of course, I miss him not being here when he stays over. Then there's snuggling under the covers, the funny thing he does with his eyebrows when Sheldon says something outrageous. I really miss his smile. I think he has a special smile just for me at least I believe he does.

Oh I really should move on before I make myself even sadder. So Leonard if you're reading this you now know how I feel tonight I'll get up early and Skype in the morning. Now onto my blog followers:

Amy glad to hear the monkey bites are healing nicely. Good idea about wearing long sleeve sweaters, wow no change there, to cover them up. The one on your neck that you're telling everyone is from your boyfriend when he got a little too excited works unless they've met Sheldon. Amy did you start moving some toiletries in next door like I told you? Every little bit helps.

Hi Howard. Thanks for the link to incredible new game you've sent me and everyone you've ever acquired an email for. Do you get points or something for that? I've sworn off online gaming and you know why. Pull your head out occasionally and pay attention to Bernadette or I see problems coming your way.

Raj. So the new girls name is Monique and she comes from online dating service that requires a credit card for a date? A couple of things come to mind. First you have more money than common sense. Second when you have to pay someone to date you and still not get lucky you may be unclear on the rules. Three she won't dump you as long as you keep paying, good luck with that.

Chuck it's good to hear you're moving out of your parent's basement "real soon now". I'm sure it will help with your dating life. It's also good to hear that Valerie Mossbacher is slimming down, poor cow. I don't think flowers and chocolates are your best choice for a first date. If I recall all that's required to get her in the sack were a bag of Skittles and a six pack. That may have changed but somehow I doubt that.

It's getting late and I have a oh dark thirty with my sweetie on Skype.

Until the next time, I've got my hand around the locket on my neck. Leonard's Spiderman shirt I stole from his room today. A belly full of pickles and half a bottle of wine I should be all set, night.


	11. Counting the Days

**Counting the Days**

Boy that sounds weak doesn't it, but it's true I'm counting the days until Leonard gets home. Think that should say something about how I feel. I may be scared of commitment. I took forever to express my love for him because of it. Now I'm not sure what I ever did without him being in my life. Even when he's not here I find myself looking around his apartment for him when I go see Sheldon. I sit in his chair and watch some odd show or movie that Sheldon finds fascinating just so I can feel close to Leonard. I even went for a walk with Sheldon yesterday in the park. Oh my god that man is hard to get out of his apartment. That walk cost me a trip to the comic book store and ice cream.

It was nice to walk in the park though. I usually take Leonard with me. We walked the same path next to the playground. Sheldon is just like Leonard he avoids looking at the kids playing on the equipment. It makes me believe they relive some childhood nerd trauma each time. They must be afraid some bully may suddenly run up and give them a wedgie. I can see both of them when they were little walking quickly by the other kids not making eye contact. There is little Leonard with a stack of books under his arm picking up speed toward the library. The faster he walks the less chance of a bully taking his glasses or knocking his books to the ground. I grabbed Sheldon's arm with mine as we walked by. He let me which was strange but I could see it made him feel better. It makes me feel better about being the bully when I was in school. I wonder if Leonard wore a bow tie.

Leonard's latest email said that things were wrapping up pretty quickly and the whole science team was ready to get off the ship. He joked with me again about being Sheldon's keeper is like being a crazy squirrel trying to round up loose nuts. I have to say though Sheldon has been very sweet to me the last month or so in his own way. A couple of times a week when Amy doesn't stay for dinner he invites me over for takeout, I of course must go pick it up but Sheldon always pays. Then we settle in to watch whatever show he's recorded or strange series he's bought. Okay so last week he watched some really scary movie and I had to stay over in Leonard's room so he wouldn't be alone. He had no idea how many memories that brought back to me. I almost cried as I wrapped myself up in Leonard blue comforter snuggling into what had become my pillow as I pulled his pillow against me wishing it was him. It's like I said at the beginning counting the days.

Well onto my homies:

Howard, Bernadette has asked me to put a bug in your ear about new pajamas. Though she says the silk short pants ones were cute when you were dating, perhaps it's time for upgrade. Something that doesn't say sex starved momma's boy perhaps, my words not hers.

Raj the new girlfriend sounds nice but it might be a little soon to have me talk to her about how she dresses. I'm flattered that you think I could spruce her up some but you might want to work into that a little slowly. Try taking her shopping. I've never been disappointed with a man taking me shopping. Then you can nudge her in the direction you think is more her style.

Amy I see that you have moved a toothbrush, hair brush and deodorant into the guys bathroom. Now let's see if you can get to use them more often. It's time to bring some really scary zombie movie over to watch. Then you're in, well at least you'll get to spend the night.

Hey chuck glad to hear you've been seeing Valerie now. Just remember the golden rule Herpes is like luggage once you get it from someone you never get rid of it. Condoms, condoms, condoms need I say more.

Time to Skype with Leonard, he's in for a treat just wearing my locket and a smile tonight.

Later


	12. Goodbye and Thanks for all the Fish

**Goodbye and Thanks for all the Fish**

My sweetie will be home soon in fact I'm expecting him any day now. Leonard emailed that they are off the boat and trying to make all the travel arrangements to get home. My social networking class is over, I got an A. So my life should get back to normal. I'm going to keep my blog for now but not sure when I'll write in it again. I'm really looking for some one on one time with my wandering physicist. Now if I can find some way of side tracking Sheldon. I know for a fact that he has a complete list of things Leonard needs to do with him or for him when he gets home. I've actually seen it and it's over five pages long written in that tiny squiggle Sheldon calls handwriting. I don't know how yet but I'm going to need to hijack the Hoftstader.

This has been a fun experience for me to write this summer. I've always had a problem just letting the little things out. This blog has been really therapeutic for that, kind of like that spa day after a night on the town. My goals for the rest of the year, it's to enjoy the people I love and come to the conclusion that marriage is a thing I can do. We'll see how that works out but I got a good feeling about it. I'm going to Sheldon's tonight to hang out with him. He's still down with Leonard gone an all. So I'll just get myself a couple of glasses of anti-Sheldon juice, (wine), and head over.

One last shout out to my homies:

Bernadette and Howard I could not have made it through the summer without you guys being my escape from the apartment and Sheldon. You guys Rock.

Amy, my sister in the agony and trials that have been taking care of Sheldon I can only say its up to you and Leonard from now on. I'm out of here, think of me as a consultant.

Raj, love is out there for you. Keep trying to find the right girl with just this piece of advice. Just because you can talk to women now doesn't mean you should say too much. Let them talk for a change.

Chuck, glad to hear you and Valerie are a thing now. The Gastro surgery for her you wrote about sound just like the ticket to your happiness. Being a car salesman I'm sure you'll find a sucker to help out with the fundraising. Struggling actress/waitresses will not be contributing.

That's it. The wine is open on my coffee table. I have something sexy picked out for Leonard's first night home. I wonder if he would take me back to that restaurant we went to on Valentine's Day. Hope you're reading this Raymond, baby needs a night out.

Farewell until I decide to write again.

**Fan Note, This is the last locket blog, I know I made you wait for it. The premiere is tonight and I hope it shines. It's been a blast this summer writing this little piece. I hope you enjoyed. SOK**


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